HW#17: First Thoughts on Illness and Dying Unit

Illness and dying is always a sensitive topic to me (and most likey for others as well), and is always a topic of discussion that I like to avoid. I see nothing positive in it, and all the emotions involved with these two words is pain and sorrow. I had to deal with the death of my grandfather on my father's side and currently I am worried about the condition of my grandma on my mother's side, and the depression my aunt deals with. It is especially worrisome when most of my family is in Japan, and keeping in touch is not really easy. I think this unit might trigger some of the fears I have surrounding these topics, because I really do not like the idea of loosing people who really mean a lot to me.

I really love my grandparents on my mother's side. My grandma would whine about not wanting to go to the hospital and complain about food. She even ran away and came back home during a period of hospitalization. Someimes I really question if she really values her life. My grandma has a walking stick and a disabled arm. My grandpa would always help put her clothes on and help take her medications. It's surprising how much she acts strong when she is really ill. It's also worrisome. When I heard about the illness and dying unit, I thought about my grandma. My mother had told me that she always told her how scared she is of dying. She basically can't do anything on her own, and I know the doctors would not be very surprised if she died anytime soon. I don't like that idea.

I do not like the idea of being ill and having the idea of dying in the back of people's minds. Is there really nothing I can do for my grandma? Is there nothing people can do to help those who are really ill? What is the point in living a life of consistent pain and the fear of death right by you? I want my grandma to live a really long life, but at the same time I feel as though if I was in the same position as her I would feel really differently. There's only one life: and I want to be able to live it to the fullest. I would not want to live a life of hospitals, medicines, and the sadness of unable to do anything on my own. I want to be a healthy person throughout my life and be able to do a lot of things.