I felt this unit was important on a personal level. It was something I wouldn't have even tried to think about because 'death and illness' always seemed like a topic that should never be discussed. The unit made me feel a bit sad, because of the attitudes society as a whole has on sick people. It also makes me sad because I'm not sure if I'll be able to make changes just because I learned that going to the hospital isn't always the right answer. I was shocked learning that hospitals recommend patients to stay even when there's no more hope of getting better. Who would want to spend their last days in a hospital bed? But, at the same time maybe there's no escape-and I'll just end up dying on a hospital bed wishing to be home surrounded by my family.
I understand that death is unavoidable and that I should just accept it. And, I do, but the fear still lingers. I think it still lingers because I realized that there's more nightmarish things about illness and dying. Dying on a hospital bed is one thing. What about a nursing home? What happens if I end up in a nursing home where nurses keep their distance and don't keep me company? I can't help but think that when I become really old I'll end up feeling really lonely and away from the rest of the world. There's also 'stigmas' towards the ill which is something I don't want to go through but probably will. Why do we live in such a society that looks down on sick people? It's not like we want to be sick.
I was very impressed by this post, I sensed growth and a new level of maturity while reading through your final post about the unit. Just like you I am afraid what the future holds but I;m sure of one thing, I will not be dying in a nursing home or hospital. Your final thoughts were really strong and I enjoyed reading all your post about dying and illness. Keep up the great work!
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ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post. It was very clear and showed your reflection on what you felt toward the unit and the fear of death that still exists. I found this line very thoughful: "But, at the same time maybe there's no escape-and I'll just end up dying on a hospital bed wishing to be home surrounded by my family." We want our last moments to be a happy one, and sometimes its just scary to even think that it probably won't be. I agree that realistically as we grow old, we become more lonely while also hoping that the end of our lives won't be as lonesome.
I found your post honest and real. Although you seem to have grown you still are unsure about how you want to lead your life, which is perfectly fine. I thought it was interesting that even after all we know about hospitals you still would go to one in a time of need. Honestly, I would probably do the same. I think your writing and insights have grown, and this is very evident especially in this post. Great Job Megumi! :)
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